The Isolation Irritation

Stop Laughing...I was bored....This is my Gi-Normous Twin Belly! You can barely see me back there!


Before I ever had children I would hear about pregnant women who get put on bed rest. I would think to myself, "Wow, bed rest would be a blast! You get to lie in bed, eat whatever you want, and sleep whenever you want." I worked up until the day I delivered Charli at 39 weeks so bed rest was never an option with her. But with the twins it was a different story...

I was only 25 weeks pregnant when I came home from a training and started having full blown contractions every 5 minutes. I tracked them, tried to drink water, and rest but they were still coming.

We called Troy's mom and she came to watch Charli and we went to Labor and Delivery. They got me hooked up, and both girls sounded great, but I was having small contractions. I was given a shot of Terbutaline, which made my skin crawl and made me want to get up and run a marathon at the same time. I was also put on Procardia which actually is a blood pressure medication, this helps to relax the uterus.

My doctor said to stay home until she re-assessed me the next week. At that appointment she asked me if I had any contractions in the previous week.

For a split second, I was going to lie and say no. I didn't want to be taken off of work, we had gone through disability paperwork before and I was denied because of a pre-existing condition. I was terrified to miss out on more money, but I was more terrified of what could happen if I lied to the doctor and went about working with the contractions. I didn't want to put the twins in danger. I told her I had a few and she said I could not return to work.

I wanted to play with Charli, work in the yard, go to work and talk with all my friends. But, I was trapped in my house. My mom would come to help with Charli and tell me to stop getting up. Troy was the Bed Rest Police and would constantly be telling me I am doing too much. I was so mad at being told what to do, especially when it came to Charli.

I remember physically having a tug-of-war over Charli with my mom. I thought..."This crazy lady ain't gonna tell me I can't hold my baby!"

Then I remembered.

I am her baby. She is looking out for me the way I would look out for my girls if they were pregnant and on bed rest.



Then by week 34 I was MISERABLE! My legs started to swell. I felt like at anytime a foot or hand was going to pop out!If I stood for longer than a minute my feet would start burning and going to sleep. And, at one point I thought I might be the first person whose actual skin ripped apart while pregnant. I was ready, but wanted to keep the twins in until the minimum 36 weeks which some doctors consider term for twins.


My humongous FEET! and cankles!

Miserable and huge!

At 34 and a half weeks we had another hospital scare. This time I had to stay overnight and be monitored. I was given the horrible Terbutaline again, and double doses of Procardia. Thank the Lord, I got to go home the next day.

But, for some reason I think this is when the Twin-to-Twin went Acute. I'll never know for sure....

Anyways, you read the birth story and thank goodness I was on bed rest considering what happened when the twins were born, but now that bed rest is over that doesn't mean I don't feel isolated still.....

Solitary Confinement of Motherhood:

I haven't driven as much as I'd like to. I would like to leave the house, but it takes roughly a few hours planning/getting ready in order to do so.


I don't necessarily want visitors because that means I have to clean, and believe me I freak about this...just ask Troy. I am like a nervous wreck if people come over and its not clean....I will be twitching in angst!


I feel guilty looking forward to getting my freedom again once school starts, and I am back to work. But then again, I will miss my babies so much being gone that long all day. I love my job so this is where I get torn sometimes. Thank God we have Mimi.


I feel jealous that Troy is at work and gets to go out to lunch and run errands, etc. I call him at like 5:15pm and ask where he is at? If he says he left on time at 5:00pm I am ecstatic! But, if he says he is still working...I feel a drop of sadness that I will have to wait 15 more minutes to see him and have him home.


I am so thankful for the internet, DVR, and my iPhone. Thank goodness I can connect with people, check email, and write this to share. What did our mother's do all day without Smartphones? I guess that helps us to not go too stir crazy.


I spent $120 on ShoeDazzle.com's BOGO sale?!?!?! Why? I don't know? I guess it's because I don't want to buy clothes because I haven't lost my baby weight so if I order shoes I can make myself feel better. UGH!!! Buyer's remorse.


I get excited to wake up in the morning and drink my Shakeology and coffee because its something for me. It makes it even better when I can watch 45 minutes of my favorite DVR'd trashy reality shows like The Bachelorette or Real Housewives of Orange County!


I also get excited when I get to take an uninterrupted shower! How nice it is to not have to get out, get cold, and give a crying baby a pacifier. Or realize I didn't get to wash the conditioner out of my hair!

I get dressed up like I am going on a job interview or on a date just to go to the doctor or the store. This is because I don't get to get out much so when I do I want to wear my nice clothes and put on make-up. So if you see me and I look nice it is because I have not left the house in 5 days.

I reminisce about the days when I could go shopping all day, go to the pool and not worry about my body or worry that my 2-year-old needs more sunblock, and go to a 10 o'clock movie just because we want to.

Some might say, "Well those are the sacrifices you make as a parent."

I don't necessarily think I am sacrificing anything. I see myself as trading. I would not want to trade places with my pre-children self. I was on a moody emotional roller coaster 24/7!

If anything motherhood has taught me is not to sweat the small stuff. Now I realize, I use to worry about things that seem so meaningless. Now I worry about my girls and their happiness, which for me, seems like a better thing to stress about.

For those interested please check out:

www.myshakeology.com/jessicahanson