Texas Roadhouse Blowout

It's been a while since my last post, but I had vowed not to write until I was done with grad school (school-guilt if any of you have had it!) But, I had to share this one!



Well, you haven't truly enjoyed Texas Roadhouse until you've changed two blowout diapers mid-meal.

On Saturday night we went to Texas Roadhouse to celebrate my father-in-law's birthday. We had planned to be there at 5:30pm and twin-time insisted on about 6:00pm since everyone decided to nap right until 5:00 and then we had to wake everyone up to get them packed and loaded for dinner.

On the way there I fed both girls on my tiny seat in between them in the van, as we arrive there and get seated everything is fine and the girls are actually enjoying themselves until Troy lifts Josi up to show me the massive blowout she had down her pants.




Wonderful!

I stop eating, (Thank goodness I was inhaling my meal, a new twin parent habit realizing at any minute I could be called to doody!) And, doody it was...lots of it! I went into the restroom and then see the changing table and think to myself, "Thank goodness it is in a private stall!"




Wrong, I put Josi down she starts crying from being on the foreign germ filled table. I don't blame her.

Next, the lock on the door is not working so I put one hand on Josi, I use my foot and my hand to try to pull the door shut, it doesn't want to close, so I proceed to slam it shut! WRONG choice!

Josi starts screaming...so then I start singing my go-to song where I just sing their names over and over to them... "Josi, Josi, Josi, Josi, Mae, Mae"




Next I open the diaper, and get to work, wiping, sweating, singing, smiling, and thinking about the germs! (I bet the waitress in the next stall over was texting her boyfriend that they needed to be "more careful", mom's of teenage girls or boys if you want instant birth control have your children change a screaming baby's diaper in a hot restaurant bathroom! It will work wonders!)

Next, was clothes changing time, why did I put the tight onesie on??? I practically ripped her ears off pulling it over her head. By this point Josi is happy again and I am the one about to scream! I keep thinking I should have just stayed at home! :)

Next I clean up, throw the diaper away! Apologize silently because I no longer carry those blue bags to wrap up the diaper to keep if from smelling. But, yes I did wash my hands!

Next, I proceed out the bathroom door to our table, and thankful for cooler air! I get to the table and relieved and exhausted. I made it through!


....until.....

Troy nicely smiles and says, "This one is ready!"

ENTER EXPLICIT LANGUAGE HERE!!!!!!

I pass him the happy clean one, and grab the next!

On to round 2!

Libbi was much easier, I didn't battle the door anymore, I just left it open. I didn't care.

Next I changed, sang, sweat, smiled, and prayed that I could just make it through the meal without having a blowout myself, a verbal blowout of profanities!!!

I left the bathroom, and walked to the table! Guess what it was time to go. Thank goodness.

We were supposed to head back to my in-laws house for cake and ice cream, but I passed! I headed home to get the girls wiped down, dressed for bed, and fed. Troy came home early to help, and brought me two pieces of cake...too bad I was too exhausted to even eat them.



My days are busy from the time I wake, and even while I sleep.


I thought this picture was funny (it came up when I googled "busy mom", yoga mom has time to do yoga with her baby! Must. Be. Nice.


Today for example, I had to get grades in, progress reports done, lesson plans, work on other things for school as well. To top it off, from about 3 to 7 we had two fussy babies to pass back and forth...not to mention diva-Charli who changes moods within 15 second time intervals!

I will be glad when graduate school is over for me in two weeks.

Troy looked at me tonight and said, "Being a parent to three under three is exhausting!"....understatement!

I am just glad that my girls are happy and healthy...yes I will be exhausted, tired, and overwhelmed most days, but as long as they are happy and healthy that is all that matters.

Bed time! Well, I will attempt to sleep! In between, waking up with either Josi or Libbi....or Charli! Gotta love Twin-Life ;-)


Halloween 2012

Not So Essure!!!!

So even though I am exhausted, stressed, and tired! I must blog about what happened to me.



I had planned about two months ago to get a procedure done called Essure. It is a permanent birth control option to keep you from having more children. Basically, they place two small coils made out of the same stuff heart stents are made of into your fallopian tubes. Then after three months you go back to the doctor for a dye test, where they put dye into your uterus and make sure everything is blocked off.



I had some doubts about whether I should make a decision so soon but I knew when I was up with the twins or Charli for the 18th time in one night I decided I was done. But, even still in the two months up to the date of the procedure I had doubts.

Anyways, in order to get the procedure you have to follow a strict timeline of events. They told me that I had to get my period, and then immediately come in for a Depo Provera birth control shot that lasts 3 months.


My take on this shot is never to EVER get it!!!!!! Unless of course you are going into battle because this shot makes you One Crazy BLEEP! I have never been more emotional, more moody, or more crazy!!! One minute I am crying for no reason at all, the next I am mad, and the next minute I am... KOO COO CRAZY!!!!

Granted I think it is in part because I am truly stressed. I have started a new teaching position, I am trying to learn my new students, learn about a new school, and try to make new friends. On top of that, I am in my last semester of Grad School, about to take my Principal's Exam, and try to keep up with all my coursework. Lastly, every year the first week back brings about sickness to my house, Charli got sick first, then Josi and then Libbi. All had or have some weird virus that causes congestion and cough.

Yay me! Now that my Pity Party is over I can move on to my other story.


Long story made longer....Do not get the Depo Provera shot!

Next after you have the shot you are given a window of opportunity to get the Essure procedure done. I was told I could either have it done August 27-31 which I was IMMEDIATELY against because that was the first week of school and there is no way I would ever miss the first week of school. So I chose the second week of school, or September 6th.

The night before the procedure I was told to take 2 pills and nothing to eat after midnight by the anesthesiologist.

The morning of I was totally uneasy, didn't speak much, and was extremely tired since I didn't get to have my Shakeology and coffee combo. Troy kept asking me what was wrong and if I was okay, and I just kept responding I wanted to get it over with.

We left for the doctor's office, and arrived in the parking lot.



Troy grabbed me and paraphrasing said, "Let's Pray...Father, please watch over us today, watch over Jessica and the procedure she is about to have done. And, please Lord, if this is not meant to be, please give us sign and we will know it is not meant to be...In Jesus Name, Amen"

We walk into the building, head up the 6th floor, updated my insurance, and waited.



Then the nurse came out and asked if I had brought my urine sample, and I of course forgot! Soooo, I go in the back and catch my urine for the pregnancy test, I was nervous even though I knew that I was on the KooKooCrazy shot (Depo Provera). The doctor comes in goes over the procedure, explains how I will feel, and most importantly I wasn't pregnant. She said to give us minute and we will be ready.

As I am about to walk into the procedure room the nurse says, "You need to talk to the lady up front to decide if you still want the procedure."

I looked at her confused, but went to the receptionist and she said.....Since your insurance changed on September 1 you will be charged $1,032 for the procedure. My face sort of grinned nervously, but my mind was thinking WTF?!?!?!?! Don't these people know I just had twins after 3 months of bedrest and maternity leave, and NICU hospital bills, I don't have $100 bills stashed in my bra? We are running on fumes bank account wise!


I politely said, "I have to talk to my husband."

I go into the waiting area, and tell Troy, "I can't have the procedure" WRONG choice words ladies...His face went white and eyes glazed over, because I think for a short second he thought I could be pregnant! HAHA! I quickly explained why...


We went back to talk to the lady. Meanwhile, why they are talking I felt the anxiety rise in my throat.

I had mentally prepared for this day for 2-3 months now, and something wasn't right. I wanted to scream, cry, and just curl up into a ball and lay with my babies cuddling around me.

I just kept thinking "Why did this happen?" "What does this mean?"

Troy was so supportive, and so sweet. We got in the car, the very place where we had prayed about the whole situation and he looked at me said, "Maybe God doesn't want us to do it right now?"

WHY?! WHY?! Does he have to say the right thing all the time, when all I want to do is go Depo Provera-crazy on somebody!?

After crying and getting a Starbucks, I got to thinking, maybe God had heard my doubts and second thoughts, and maybe like all great parents when it is time to step in He stepped in and made the decision for me.


We went home somewhat relieved and happy, to take care of our sick kids, and enjoy them and cuddle them.

And who knows? Maybe we will try for a 4th girl one day ;-)~ One day a long time from now!

Our God is an Awesome God.

We Work Hard for that Money Mommas

Back to life....Back to reality....! But no seriously...going back to work has conversely resulted in me having less time to do things like write.

I wish I felt like this.....


But instead I feel like this!


I have been back at work doing new teacher training. I am so excited to be in the same district as Charli's cousins and also excited to be at the school I am at!



On the flip side, going back to work brings a whole new gamut of emotions.

I feel like I miss out on so much during the day, my mom sends me pictures and I get a few minutes to glance at them and realize how much bigger my babies look each day. I come home and feel like I have been gone an eternity.

Working mommas have a whole different outlook on the day in general. Here is a sample of what my day looks like modified to next week when I have to be at school at 7:15am! So early!!!




Wake-up, Shower

Start Coffee, Shakeology in the blender, heat up two bottles, make Charli's milk and set out her vitamins.







Wake up twins (they are usually stirring and ready to eat) and feed bottles.

Finish getting ready, pack lunches, start dishwasher and kiss all my babies goodbye. Thanking my mom for being there, and getting in my car and choking back the tears that I have to leave my babies.


Drive to work and pray and talk with God, thanking him for blessing us with so many wonderful blessings!!!

Morning Duty-So early!

School Day- Hoping that the girls are okay :)

Leave school if I don't have a committee meeting or faculty meeting.

Arrive home, ask my mom how the day went and send her home to get much needed rest after taking care of 3 little ones all day, then I spend time with the babies, and Charli.

Start Dinner



Troy gets home then we eat dinner, spend some family time together, and the bedtime routine begins!!!

Get bath started for Charli, proceed to bathe each twin one after the other. Finish Charli's bath.


Next, is to lotion the girls up, and put on jam-jams, and give Charli milk, and feed babies bottles.

Put twins down to bed, and then lay Charli down(don't forget the Three Puppies story!).

Work Out-Currently doing Insanity and thinking I am INSANE for trying that workout first. But, I am seeing results! I am excited about being a BeachBody coach and helping other mommas lose their baby weight! It motivates me to workout and get healthy!


I will be posting before and after pics soon!

Cool down from workout, load the dishwasher, and then either work on Work or Grad school for a minute, or pass out from exhaustion and go to sleep.

I'm going 100mph and don't know how I am doing it. The only thing that is helping me besides the good Lord Himself! To do it all without going crazy is the strong support I have from family, and I also think exercising and Shakeology has truly been helping me to have energy and not get winded simply just giving my girls baths!

I don't even know how I am going to do this once Grad School starts on Saturday!!!!

I will truly feel like I am treading water and someone is trying to push me under. I just hope and pray God will give me the strength to get through.

And like my new best friend Shaun T. says "Power Through!" and "Dig Deeper!" I just have to dig deep and find the strength to make it through. I know it is going to be tough.

I hope my girls are proud of me one day when they read this.






Check it out for yourselves at:

www.beachbodycoach.com/jessicahanson

www.myshakeology.com/jessicahanson

Not so Funday Sunday

I am not referencing today (Sunday) as my not Funday Sunday, but rather last Sunday.


I was telling my mom about what happened last Sunday, and she said I should blog about it. I have debated about whether to write about it all week, as it involves Troy and me arguing, but here goes.

Last Sunday, Troy convinced me that I should ride in the car to run errands and get some lunch. In my gut I was thinking, hmmmmm the girls need to eat, Charli is tired, and I can't even remember the last time I showered? Sorry :)But nonetheless I decided I would go...I should have stayed at home....here is why

First, Charli is complaining that she is hungry in the back seat and wants crackers. Not the "Chips" we already have on hand in the car, but "crackers!!!" We pull over at gas station and get her some crackers on our way to Walmart.

Yes, she is spoiled to the core!

Then, Troy says, "I'm just gonna run into Walmart return this and I will be right back." (I should have known better at this point) I get on my phone eager to enjoy some Facebook updates, and then Josi starts to cry, then Libbi and I realize it is time to eat.

I crawl into the back seat, get out their bottles and start feeding them on a 5 inch wide seat. While I am feeding them I get instructed to "MOVE!!!!" by Miss Diva Charli Kay, because my large head is blocking her view of Tangled on the DVD player. So I then, tilt my head in order for her to be able to view her movie and eat the "crackers" we made a special stop for. (Anything to keep me from having 3 screamers!)


While I am sitting there, I realize that both Libbi and Josi are pooping. In my head I am thinking. "WTF!!! Troy gets to go into Walmart with no children, and I am stuck in a poop-smelled van with a bossy two year old and two hungry babies! What in the world is taking so long?!" and why in the heck did I say yes to coming along for this torture-fest!


Then as I get them changed, fed, back into their carseats (All doing this in the back seat of a van), I start to get more and more angry and I don't even know why? I think "Would Troy be doing this?" No, he would have called me and told me to come out. "Would Troy be sitting on a 5 inch seat?" "Would Troy be tilting his head so Queen ChaCha can see her show?" NO and NO!

As I sat there, arms going numb from holding bottles, I really got worked up.


Then finally Troy gets back to the van. And, what did I do or say? Well I didn't say anything at first. Then when he explained how he picked up some Hot Dog buns, I just couldn't resist. I almost screamed it but I didn't when I said, "I should have just stayed home!!!"

Then of course, I am a total freak who just bit his head off, and he doesn't even know the events that just took place, besides me almost throwing the poopy diapers at him to throw away when he got back to the car 40 minutes later.

So, to make a long story longer we were mad at one another.

We headed to get lunch, and while driving on Camp Bowie we were literally almost killed by a lady in a Mercedes SUV who didn't realize she couldn't turn but decided to turn anyways. Fortunately, Troy was able to swerve into a parking lot and saved us from a horrible accident. At that point, we looked at each other and both apologized. Some things mean nothing when you realize that your whole family could be taken away in a heartbeat.


I am so thankful to be a mommy and a wife to a wonderful man. Yes, there are times when I am changing diapers and cramped in the back seat that I think I would rather be the man that gets to go in Walmart, instead of the mom that sacrifices for the sake of getting out of the house. But, I think we all make sacrifices ALL THE TIME in order to be parents, I think it is God's way of showing us the sacrifice he has made for us. When I think about His ultimate sacrifice, I am so thankful for my family and my Faith.



And next time, I will know better than to think anyone can just "run" in Walmart! I'll be staying at home!

On a side note:

Anyone who has twins or 3 children under 3 must purchase a Toyota Sienna it is the best car for multiples! I love my Swagger Wagon. It is dorky, but I wouldn't have it any other way! I cannot imagine even being able to leave the house comfortably without it, or being able to tend to the twins and Charli in other type of car. It is awesome! I love pushing a button and the doors open, and having the all the room! It will be so fun when we take out first road trip. Plus it handled great when Troy had to save our lives that day!

You might be a momma if...

Just thinking about all the things we do as moms and had to share a list of "You might be a momma if..." Sort of like "You might be a Redneck if..." but my own version!


So here goes! All speaking from my own personal experience.

You might be a momma if:

If you have thrown an outfit in to the church bathroom trash can because you changed a blowout diaper, only to realize that you hadn't packed a change of clothes in the diaper bag.


If after you changed the blowout diaper you explained to the lady asking if you needed help that you were, "FINE!" and then proceeded to bag the trash in the church bathroom because you realized you were in the wrong bathroom to begin with!

If you have used half and half instead of milk in your child's cereal because you refused to go to the grocery store with newborn twins.



If you have cleaned your child's pacifier by placing it in your mouth! (I validate it by telling myself that I am taking the germs off and that I will get sick instead!) Horrible, but you know you've done it too!


If you have prayed for your child to fall back asleep so you don't have to get up in the middle of the night.

If when you changed your baby in the morning you realized that at the 2am feeding you had put two diapers on your newborn baby. I guess she was double leak-proof! :)

If you have man-handled another 3 year old boy who was trying to drown your child in the baby pool.



If you have said that you aren't going to reward your child with food only to be driving through Braum's drive through after every doctor's appointment that involves a needle!


If you made a doctor's appointment because you thought your two-year old was sick, but secretly asked the nurse practitioner if she thought your daughter could be depressed because you took her sassy away. (You should have seen the look on her face, like are you serious? We just took a co-pay for this?) But, no she actually had strep throat.

If you have had to cancel a date night with friends because your baby is constipated. Sad, but nothing is worse than having a stopped up baby. Luckily we have found FIBER gummies!!! Thank goodness!



If you have let your sick baby throw up all over you, instead of holding her away and causing her to be even more traumatized. P.S. Never give Strawberry Milk to a child with fever....wait never give them milk period when they have fever. But instead, have a case of PediaLite on hand in the pantry for such an event.



If you have looked at your once cute precious belly button and thought at least I have a reason it is now deformed! (I'm working on restoring it to it's original state, but fear it may never happen) Thank you Shakeology I am now back to my pre-preggo weight! Now to lose the dreadful twin-skin and 10 lbs I put on when I knew I was gonna try to get pregnant again.

Finally,

You might be a momma if when you look at your child, you realize God has given you a gift that compares to no other, you pray first for them and their happiness, and you hope beyond all hope they will be healthy and safe for rest of their lives.


Troy sent me this today (I am unsure of who the author is)

"Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. She's the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick and perfume that she wore. She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well. She's your breath in the air on a cold winter's day. She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow. She is Christmas morning. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. She's crystallized in every teardrop. A mother shows every emotion .......... happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow... and all the while, hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life. She's the place you came from, your first home, and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love; your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space...not even death!"

Isn't that the truth!

Now to go tend to my rudey-moody two-year old! She makes the twins seem easy!!!

Also, in order to maintain my Shake-Addiction, I have become a coach so any others interested please visit www.myshakeology.com/jessicahanson. Or if you want to join me in doing the Brazil Butt Lift, visit www.beachbodycoach.com/jessicahanson.

Separation Anxiety is a Five Letter Word That Starts with B!

Well, this week for me has been busy.


(If only the work day started at 9am!)

Swim lessons, graduate school assignments due, a three day training at the service center which is basically just a school for teachers, and grad school today.

I knew this week was coming, and I knew my mom would be keeping Charli and the twins, but nothing compares to the feelings you have the first time you leave your babies with someone other than your spouse for more than a couple of hours.




My training started on Wednesday, and on Tuesday night the silence began.

That's right silence.

I stopped talking, zoned out, and couldn't focus on anything except the thoughts in my head. Troy dreads this silence, he constantly asks, "What's wrong?" but, the only thing I can say is that I am fine. But, really I want to break down crying!

Here are just a few thoughts going through my mind during the silence:

-I hope the twins stay on schedule.

-No one can feed them like I feed them, what if they don't burp?

-I hope it's not too much for my mom to handle? Although, my mom did in-home child care when we were little so she could be at home with us. She took care of multiple children plus a special needs infant, so I know she is able to do this.


-I think I should go buy a lottery ticket.

-Maybe I need to write down a detailed schedule, a picture schedule, a detailed-picture schedule?

-Then again, I could just do a video of everything I do during the day just in case my mom needs a visual aide?

-I need to show my mom how I sing the "Gooby Gooby Gum Drop" song to the twins

-What if Charli's breakfast isn't set up like I do it? Milk, vitamin, and cereal in her pink bowl with her favorite purple spoon. Or as Charli calls it "poon"

-What if Charli is manipulative? I know how strong-willed she can be, which she totally gets only from her daddy, mommy is too laid-back and relaxed to be strong-willed.

No as a matter of fact, I know she gets this from me, and that is why I sympathize with her probably too much. I was a momma's girl, I was attached to my momma's hip just like Charli. She is passionate, strong-willed, and stubborn just like me. But, I want her to also know boundaries, and not take advantage of her Mimi.

-What happens if Charli gets mad at me for leaving?

-What happens if I actually have fun away from the kids? Do I feel guilty? or enjoy myself?

-Why can't I stop thinking about this and just let go?




-Maybe I should buy two lottery tickets?

I know what your thinking, and I am thinking it too. I am OVER-thinking it. My mom has raised me, and she is a twin herself. If anything she knows that twins are pretty tough, they've shared close quarters for 9 months, and now they will be sharing many things until the time they go their separate ways. Charli has been with my mom since I went back to work when she was ten weeks old. My mom is strong and self-sacrificing, she has supported me and told me to always do what I love. She wants me to work and have a career, and she has inspired me to one day retire and do the same for my girls that she is doing for me now. I am extremely blessed to be in this situation so why can't I just stop worrying already???????????

I don't know. Some might say just let it go and stop being a control freak. But, I think it is what some of us just do as moms. We love our babies, we worry about them, we want them to feel loved like we love them even if we are away from them.



Sitting here I can't help but imagine them 14-16 years from now, and then my fear will be them all getting in a car without me to ride to a football game.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. How will I ever be able to do that?

Time to go hug some babies and enjoy my snuggles because like our Pastor says, "The days go by so slow, but the years go by so fast." I need to remember to enjoy the moments each day, everyday and not worry too much about things I can't control.



Twins @ 12 weeks! Smiling at Momma!



My angel, my love, my gift from above!

Also, want to give a shout out to Charli's swim instructor! Mrs. Anna Falcon! You are amazing! Charli actually swam a breath under water after only 2 weeks of lessons! We will be seeing you for another week! Thank you for being patient and making Charli's first experience in the pool fun and exciting! I wish I could post videos! I will definitely take pictures this week of her swimming under the water to post!
Her email is ladyfalcon10@gmail.com!


www.falconsflippers.com