We pack up the car, Charli is in a cute little dress, the twins are in matching outfits, and we are ready to have the perfect family evening. We arrive at Central Market and head off to the salad bar, I make the $15.00 salad and Troy gets some yummy goodies and we find a nice seat. Of course we get a few "freak show" stares from onlookers but things are going great. The twins are laughing, Charli is making conversation, and we are having a nice family meal!
Charli begs to go out to the playground and with some hesitation we come up with the plan that Troy will take Charli out to play, and I will shop with the twins. As soon as we put Libbi in the buggy I knew something switched. I couldn't tell if it was the way she was sitting or simply the change in location but I knew Libbi was not happy but I ventured off into supermarket heaven.....or what was about to be the complete opposite.
I head in the backwards direction through the store to the bakery, Libbi is beginning to fuss and upon my arrival a sweet Central Market employee asks me if the twins can have a cookie? And I'm like "Hell Yes, they can have a cookie! anything to keep them from fussing!" I thank the lady for the cookies, and I see a coworker and friend, we chat, but all the while I am thinking of my ticking-time-bomb twins that are about to explode at any minute...
Sidenote...anyone out there who attempts to have conversations with mothers of infants please do not judge them or comment about how crazy or disconnected they were even if their children were perfectly behaved, for it is unknown if that mother is working on 2 hours sleep, just changed her 18th diaper of the day, or just finger-swiped her toddler's mouth because they decided to shove a whole half of grilled cheese down their throat! We are working with all we have, so if we struggle to carry a good conversation please try again later.
Back to the Central Market Bakery...
I finish my conversation with my friend and then move on through the bakery only to notice that strangers are staring even more heavily on my girls. I look down and discover why.
Libbi is completely covered with chocolate. She looks like she's been rolling in it. I resort to grabbing those wax paper donut grabber things from the muffin area and try to wipe off the chocolate! It's like a chocolate BLOW-OUT! But all over her face and legs. She gets flustered at this point and starts to scream and I flee to the corner of the bakery and get her out of the buggy.
Time to bail:
I text Troy: "I need you in the bakery STAT"
His response: "Serious?"
My inner response....Are you BLEEPING kidding me?????? Get your BLEEP in here!"
My real response: "YES, I am in the milk section now"
I made it to the dairy area and Josi notices Libbi is free so she begins to scream. I am now on the floor of Central Market getting Josi out of the son-of-a-buggy and trying to keep my cool. I notice out of the corner of my eye another Central Market employee coming up to me. I grab Josi and he asks, "Mam' you look like you could use some help?" I just say, "Yes sorry I just need to leave my buggy, my girls are not happy and I need to leave." I walk away one way and realize I need to walk back the opposite direction in hopes of seeing Troy.
My phone rings in my back pocket but with no hands free to answer I am like a walking alarm with a ringtone and two screaming babies!
An older man and his wife see me and say, "You got yer hands full!"
I reply, "Literally!" and the man responds, "You looking for something?"
I said, "My husband." and he replies back, "I bet he had something to do with those two...haha"
At this point I snickered and thought to myself where in the BLEEP is Troy!!!!!!
I see my Central Market employee friend again and he asks if I need help finding something and at this point I think I may have yelled, "MY HUSBAND!"
With every muscle in my arms burning from the 25lb twin in each I think I just told myself over and over, "GET TO THE CAR!!! GET TO THE CAR!!!"
I made it to the grassy area by the car and then I am in a predicament: Call Troy with the phone in my back pocket or try to find my keys in my purse. I decide to call Troy and hold each twins' hand while squeezing the phone in between my shoulder and ear....Ring.....Josi starts flopping on the ground.....Ring......Libbi starts screaming to get away....Ring....Mommy is about to have a mega-momma-freak-out!! No answer...
I hold the girls down for a second and then get my keys out of my purse. I get them strapped in the van and Troy walks up. Nothing needed to be said, but he chose to ask, "Why didn't you answer your phone?"
"Because I had 2 BABIES in my arms!!!!!!"
Enough said.
He knew to choose silence until we got home.
We were almost home when I looked in the back of the van and jokingly sarcastically said, "The next person in this car that laughs is getting a spanking!!!"
All three girl cracked up laughing! Even though I was still high strung I really did feel better.
And after telling my mom what happened she and my dad came over the next morning and watched the girls so Troy and I could "replay" our Central Market Crash minus the munchkins. Thank you mom and dad! I love you!!!
Two words about sum it up:
TWIN LIFE!
Here are some pictures I took this morning while enjoying coffee and hanging out on the back porch...Twin Life is not always crazy!
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