I had planned about two months ago to get a procedure done called Essure. It is a permanent birth control option to keep you from having more children. Basically, they place two small coils made out of the same stuff heart stents are made of into your fallopian tubes. Then after three months you go back to the doctor for a dye test, where they put dye into your uterus and make sure everything is blocked off.
I had some doubts about whether I should make a decision so soon but I knew when I was up with the twins or Charli for the 18th time in one night I decided I was done. But, even still in the two months up to the date of the procedure I had doubts.
Anyways, in order to get the procedure you have to follow a strict timeline of events. They told me that I had to get my period, and then immediately come in for a Depo Provera birth control shot that lasts 3 months.
My take on this shot is never to EVER get it!!!!!! Unless of course you are going into battle because this shot makes you One Crazy BLEEP! I have never been more emotional, more moody, or more crazy!!! One minute I am crying for no reason at all, the next I am mad, and the next minute I am... KOO COO CRAZY!!!!
Granted I think it is in part because I am truly stressed. I have started a new teaching position, I am trying to learn my new students, learn about a new school, and try to make new friends. On top of that, I am in my last semester of Grad School, about to take my Principal's Exam, and try to keep up with all my coursework. Lastly, every year the first week back brings about sickness to my house, Charli got sick first, then Josi and then Libbi. All had or have some weird virus that causes congestion and cough.
Yay me! Now that my Pity Party is over I can move on to my other story.
Long story made longer....Do not get the Depo Provera shot!
Next after you have the shot you are given a window of opportunity to get the Essure procedure done. I was told I could either have it done August 27-31 which I was IMMEDIATELY against because that was the first week of school and there is no way I would ever miss the first week of school. So I chose the second week of school, or September 6th.
The night before the procedure I was told to take 2 pills and nothing to eat after midnight by the anesthesiologist.
The morning of I was totally uneasy, didn't speak much, and was extremely tired since I didn't get to have my Shakeology and coffee combo. Troy kept asking me what was wrong and if I was okay, and I just kept responding I wanted to get it over with.
We left for the doctor's office, and arrived in the parking lot.
Troy grabbed me and paraphrasing said, "Let's Pray...Father, please watch over us today, watch over Jessica and the procedure she is about to have done. And, please Lord, if this is not meant to be, please give us sign and we will know it is not meant to be...In Jesus Name, Amen"
We walk into the building, head up the 6th floor, updated my insurance, and waited.
Then the nurse came out and asked if I had brought my urine sample, and I of course forgot! Soooo, I go in the back and catch my urine for the pregnancy test, I was nervous even though I knew that I was on the KooKooCrazy shot (Depo Provera). The doctor comes in goes over the procedure, explains how I will feel, and most importantly I wasn't pregnant. She said to give us minute and we will be ready.
As I am about to walk into the procedure room the nurse says, "You need to talk to the lady up front to decide if you still want the procedure."
I looked at her confused, but went to the receptionist and she said.....Since your insurance changed on September 1 you will be charged $1,032 for the procedure. My face sort of grinned nervously, but my mind was thinking WTF?!?!?!?! Don't these people know I just had twins after 3 months of bedrest and maternity leave, and NICU hospital bills, I don't have $100 bills stashed in my bra? We are running on fumes bank account wise!
I politely said, "I have to talk to my husband."
I go into the waiting area, and tell Troy, "I can't have the procedure" WRONG choice words ladies...His face went white and eyes glazed over, because I think for a short second he thought I could be pregnant! HAHA! I quickly explained why...
We went back to talk to the lady. Meanwhile, why they are talking I felt the anxiety rise in my throat.
I had mentally prepared for this day for 2-3 months now, and something wasn't right. I wanted to scream, cry, and just curl up into a ball and lay with my babies cuddling around me.
I just kept thinking "Why did this happen?" "What does this mean?"
Troy was so supportive, and so sweet. We got in the car, the very place where we had prayed about the whole situation and he looked at me said, "Maybe God doesn't want us to do it right now?"
WHY?! WHY?! Does he have to say the right thing all the time, when all I want to do is go Depo Provera-crazy on somebody!?
After crying and getting a Starbucks, I got to thinking, maybe God had heard my doubts and second thoughts, and maybe like all great parents when it is time to step in He stepped in and made the decision for me.
We went home somewhat relieved and happy, to take care of our sick kids, and enjoy them and cuddle them.
And who knows? Maybe we will try for a 4th girl one day ;-)~ One day a long time from now!
Our God is an Awesome God.
